Tumblers League Table


Falls Tumbler Where & How
3= Miss Daisy Edge Hammerwood House of Horror AgentTraumaUnit reports: “Twice in a day. Saskia describes the first as, we were cantering along and Daisy's stirrup thingy came off, she bumped against Julian and shot out the side door. The second was, just as we returned to the boxes, Diamond decided to shake and shook poor little Daisy off. Mrs Edge had gone partying leaving Jules in charge of the girls.” [Wanton hussy! - Ed]

Cowdray Water Meadows It was only a matter of time. Agent TraumaCorner tells us, pithily, “Pony went from standstill to trot in the water meadows. Daisy went from on to off.” [What a pithy! - Ed]

2= Miss Nicola Lyon-Maris

Hoyle Farm Agent SloweWorm's description is alluring: “I can’t quite picture it but it involved going so slowly up a very steep bank that Seamus’s short fat legs slid backwards and her stirrup leather slipped out of the holder and off onto the ground so she stepped off sideways onto the side of the bank, retrieved the stirrup leather and got back on again (I’m sure there was a lot more palaver involved but that’s the gist of it)”

Opening Meet Agent SloweWorm makes a good point: “In my book if a horse sinks to its knees for no apparent reason resulting in a forced dismount by its rider, THAT COUNTS…." Who are we to disagree?

1= Mr Edward Roberts

Madams Farm Retrieval of mobile telephone led to a toppling out the side at a standstill. Words you thought you'd never see in the same sentence: ‘Ed Roberts’ and ‘at a standstill’

1= Mr Neil Meadows

Madam’s Farm Full marks for being last subscriber out on a freezing day. Fewer marks for slipping over as a result

1= Mr Julian Edge M.F.H.

Charton Forest Because Mr Edge is a Master, this did not happen. Whatever it was.

1= Mrs Nadine Crouch

Hoyle Farm AgentTraumaCorner in fine descriptive mode: “We left a bit early with half the field and halfway down the perilous track down from the forest I heard a squeal from Hon Sec Nadine Crouch. It seems that Expresso had decided to roll in the leaf litter and no amount of kicking was going to deter him. The result was Mrs Crouch being deposited on her butt in the leaf litter. No-one was injured physically but I'm fairly sure Nadine is going to be haunted by this for the rest of the season…”

1= Ms Rachel Stanley Stones AgentAngelOfTheNorth: “Groom to the Master of the Day also fell off, second jump, in fact, about 10 mins after leaving the meet. In fact, if that…”

1= Mr Tony Lorenz Hammerwood House of Horror AgentTraumaUnit again: “somewhere in the manorial rights Anthony parted with his horse, the details are sketchy but I think a ditch or a jump was involved" [Oh we don’t mind which - Ed].

1= Miss Charlotte Homan Hammerwood House of Horror In her own words: “I didn't fall off over the gate, I fell off one stride after…" [Which is shorthand for “I fell off over the gate” - Ed]

1= Mr Sid Hayes Stones There was no product by Bumble and Bumble or Vidal Sassoon that could keepthos top crimper in the saddle today [You mean, not even Paul Mitchell Firm Style Super Clean Sculpting Gel?”- Ed]

1= Mr John Langdon Cowdray Water Meadows Tumblers has never been respectful of anyone, young or old, no matter how glittering their career. A stumble brought our doughty pre-War fieldmaster into the water meadows of Malham. In the end not wasted journey downwards, as the water meadows had not hard any of his hunting stories before. ‘Well, water meadows, in the old days, you see, we would …[ etc]

1= Mrs Deborah Boulton Cowdray Water Meadows From Agent MiniTraumaNurse: “Deborah fell off nearly into a ditch. She didn't get wet though because she was wearing her new armband” [You have learnt well, my child - Ed]

1= Mr Canice Hogan The Stag Inn Word reaches us that this subscriber ‘attempted to scratch his knee whilst trotting at Flexham’. Unwise. Never scratch your knee while trotting at Flexham.

1= Mr David Hayes Bat & Ball A long time since this firm favourite’s last appearance here. So we can be sure it was something spectacular! Oh, it wasn’t. Came off at a trot in a muddy field. However, as he confessed willingly, we will be kind and say no more. We won’t go on about clumsiness or gauchness. Just one of those things; honestly, could happen to anyone ... [But it didn’t, it happened to him - Ed]

1= Ms Henrietta Patterson Opening Meet Out of the saddle and into the record books. Off after 40 secs, possibly less. A great moment. A side-saddle supremo, Henrietta was astride today [But not for very long - Ed]

1= Mr Richard Milne Opening Meet New subscriber, new opportunities! Ex-cavalry [Are you sure? — Ed]. Did not disappoint over the hedges. Flamboyance rating: 9 (Hunt coat ripped apart). Man of Iron credentials: 10 (Straight back on tho’ no idea where he was).

1= Miss Jo Burdett Opening Meet Well, it had to happen sooner rather than later. And it did. Sooner rather than later. The circumstances are murky. [They always are, they always are - Ed]

1= Miss Grace Bolton Opening Meet Plucky youngster = unlucky youngster. Nevertheless, one to watch. Could give the junior Edges a run for their money this season.

1= Miss Sophie Lawes Petsells Keeping it in the family. A far more elegant dismount than her father (see below). It's never easy for our amateur whips but her charming, if convulted, self-justification disarmed us enough to be magnanimous.

1= Mr Graham Lawes Holland Wood Always satisfying to break in a new horse away from the glare of the public eye. But we see you, we see you …

1= Mr Paul Lyon-Maris Malham Farm You a horse. You are from Leicestershire. You have no idea what a gate is. So whatever this metal thing is, you'll just jump it, won’t you? Yes you will. And you did. From a standstill.

1= Ms Harriet Anstruther Holland Wood With regret, being the scion of a hunting and landowning dynasty offers no protection from the inevitable …

1= Miss Scarlett Edge Petsells The on-going bankruptcy of the Edge family continues. If I bury it down here no-one will surely notice

1= Grace from the Harry Dzenis Yard Pallingham Manor Farm Interesting. It refused to move. It reared. It refused to move again. And was all sweetness and light thereafter. Between the inertia it deposited its rider, which is always nice for us